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More On Keeping True Love

But then, the research finds, we all move out of that phase into the me/us phase. In this phase, we differentiate, we separate some, we get back to working on our own goals and interests, we don't want to spend ALL our time with our mate.

We also start having some conflicts with our partner in this phase. This is normal and healthy and natural. Yet it is a big danger time, many relationships break up during this phase because they think the true love is gone.

Look. If we didn't start to separate from our partners, we'd become a dysfunctional mess. We each have to continue to take our journey's in life. We have to move forward with our own goals and interests. We can't just stay in bed with our lovers and play. Life beckons us onward.

So here's the thing. If you want to keep true love, you have to adjust. Don't give up when the oceanic love phase passes. You have to learn that it is deeper than just the first strong physical attraction. You have to figure out that it is about loving the whole person, with their strengths and weaknesses.

You have to learn that you can have conflict and not take it personally. Conflict is part of a healthy relationship where two adults are learning to live as a couple and as separate individuals with their own views and values and interests.

True love is about accepting all of your mate, the parts you love with the parts you don't like as much, and working out differences rather than leaving because of them.  So focus on this piece of relationship intelligence

You don't get to keep true love unless you learn how to deal with conflict and differences in a healthy way and work them out rather than leave because of them.

Learning this is the only way to keep true love.  So keep building your relationship intelligence and you will get to keep true love.

There is much more to learn about this.  Learn more about healthy conflict here.

Here are some links to other information that can be of help.

We never got taught relationship skills in school.  Spending a few minutes learning more relationship intelligence can pay off with years of more love, deeper bonding and emotional connection.


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