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Relationship Advice - Get Ex Back Fast

When you want to get ex back, you have an uphill battle ahead of you.  After all, they are your ex.  They have said they are done with you.  How do you overcome that?

To get your ex back, you first need to understand what went wrong.   This is the first key to making it happen.  And there are, in general, only three main causes for relationships to break up. To fix the relationship and get your ex back, you have to begin by understanding which of these three reasons caused your relationship to go in the crapper.

The first cause for relationships end is because you wronged your mate. You cheated on them, you verbally abused them, you ignored them, you fought with them too much. In some way, or in several ways, you wronged your mate, you did not treat them well. This is one of the most common reasons that relationships end. We've all probably wronged our mate some, but if you do it in a major way or continually over time then you are going to lose them.  We'll discuss in a minute what to do to get an ex back if you wronged them.

The second cause for relationships to end is because your mate wronged you. Perhaps they cheated on you, or were abusive with you, or drank too much, or fought with you too much, and you couldn't deal with it. You had to say enough. If your mate cheats on you and you do nothing, you are just being a doormat. So kicking them out or ending the relationship is often the best choice you could come up with. Being wronged by our lovers is a common reason for ending a relationship.

The third cause is that your ex just isn't into you anymore. This is when you have drifted apart. There wasn't enough fun, or it got boring, or the sex got mechanical, or whatever. This is a huge cause of relationships ending. All over the world, one or both partners in a relationship are falling out of love. If this continues, one partner will eventually end the relationship.

There is a fourth cause, which is just a combination of the above. Maybe your ex wasn't that into you anymore, and they cheated on you. It may seem like cheating was the main cause the relationship ended, but underneath, the real problem is that they weren't that into you anymore. So there are generally just the three main causes, and then you get combinations of other things, like verbal abuse or neglect or too much fighting.  But almost all reasons a relationship ends can be traced back to one of the three causes above.

So, your ex left you for one of the three causes above. Your question is, how do I get my ex back? Well, if you understand the cause, you are already off to a good start. Each main cause for relationships ending requires a different reconnect strategy to get them back. It isn't a one step applies to all situation.

The top method for getting your ex back when you have wronged them is to do a Deep Apology. This is different than saying that you are sorry a million times. Most people have no idea how to do a real, sincere, deep apology. Generally a deep apology has five to seven steps. The first step is to admit that you did wrong. Just admit it. Don't give a hundred excuses. Fess up.

Another step that most people miss by a long shot is one of the most powerful ways to get your ex back. And this step is to allow your partner to vent. Instead of you talking and blathering on about how sorry you are, admit you did something wrong and then ask your partner how what you did made them feel. Then Shut Up!

Let them talk. This is a key part of how you to to do the whole get ex back thing and make it happen. You have to let them release their negative feelings, get them off their chest. Because most people miss this crucial step, their apologies land short. They leave their mates full of lots of anger. You have to let them vent.   This is the crucial step that most people don't understand how to do.

The third step would be to then apologize deeply and sincerely.  If you have confessed to doing something wrong, and then let them vent, they may accept your apology and give you another chance. 

The next main cause for relationships ending is your ex wronged you. Maybe they cheated on you, you got mad, and kicked them out. Now you want them back, but you are still mad and worried about if they will cheat again. Your trust has been broken.

There is a different reconnect method for this, which is another five to seven steps. But the key is for you to vent to them. "When you cheated on me, it made me feel x, y, and z." You have to get your negative feelings off your chest, and have them promise to not wrong you again.

You don't want to argue, you don't want to attack, you want to vent, get things off your chest. So you have to set it up in the beginning to be safe. You tell your ex "I don't want to argue, I just want you to listen to me, no need to defend yourself here, the point is for you to hear me..."

This is key to beginning to deal with however your mate wronged you. There are other steps, but this one is the most important.  Before you try to get them to promise to be different, make sure you have vented so that you can begin to release some of your difficult emotions.

And if the cause of your relationship ending is they just aren't that into you anymore, then you need a different strategy altogether. This cause is one of the hardest to overcome, but in some cases it can be done. What you need to do, essentially, is to find out why they aren't into you anymore, and then see if you can change that thing and convince them that you have changed.

If they aren't into you because you are don't have a job, you have to then go get a job first.  Don't beg and plead with them to take you back.  Go get a job!  Then convince them that losing them made you change so that you can be counted on to keep a job in the future.

You have to find out the main reason or two they aren't into you.  There actually are one or two reasons they aren't into you.  There isn't an endless list, really.  Once you know what their primary reasons are, you can see if you want to change this about yourself.  If you don't want to, then move on.  If you do, make the change, and let them know.

There is obviously more to all of this, but these are the top three causes of relationships ending and the top three methods you can use to reconnect and get back together with your ex.

We never got taught relationship skills in school.  Spending a few minutes learning more relationship intelligence can pay off with years of more love, deeper bonding and emotional connection.  Relationship advice can be simple and doesn't need to be hard to follow!

 

 

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