Relationship Advice | Marriage Guidance
You know it happens in
marriages all the time. You were so close, but over the years the
passion fades and things get a bit more stale and mechanical. You
both wonder what is happening to your love as your marriage seems to
become more about the kids and making money and the burdens and
responsibilities of life.
Studies have shown that
expressions of intimacy decrease over time in the average marriage.
We stop expressing or demonstrating intimacy factors as time goes
Is this marital drift normal,
does it happen in all relationships, and can it be turned around?
Well, as you are learning from experience, it is very common for
there to be relationship drift in all marriages. It's normal, but if
not corrected it can cause marital crises or divorce. Relationship
drift often leads to separation and cheating. What can be done?
The first thing you can do to cure relationship drift is simple, fun
and yet very powerful. And that is to PLAY more with your mate. When
you first got together with your spouse, you played a lot. Dinner,
sex, movies, etc. You both had a lot of fun. Then over time you
probably stopped playing very much. Some marriages can lose almost
all play between spouses over several years.
How much fun is that, to play more with your mate to stop
relationship drift? It can start with just one date night a week
where you do something you both enjoy. Just a little quality time
having fun together can really begin to change how you both feel
about each other and the marriage.
Make your date night special quality time with your spouse. Don't
talk about work or the kids or other stresses and burdens in your
life. Clear time to relax and enjoy each other and what you are
doing. Playing is not hard, even if you are out of practice!
A second powerful way to reverse relationship drift is through sex.
Sex can become someone stale and mechanical over time. You want to
keep it fresh and passionate. You don't have to try every position
in the kama sutra or anything. Great sex is not about new positions,
But it also isn't hard or difficult to keep sex from becoming stale.
One simple way to improve the quality of your sex life is to have
sex when you both aren't exhausted at the end of a day. Schedule
quality time when you both have energy. Then, just take some of that
energy and focus it on your partner. You know what they might like,
and when you have energy it is easy to spend some extra time on
What you do and how you do it
is up to you. That's the joy of sex. But having the
energy to do it can make it a more pleasurable experience for both
You can quickly improve your marriage and reverse relationship drift
using just these two steps alone, and there are many more.
purpose some more with your mate, in bed and out, and you will
be doing both of you a big favor.
Fighting marital drift is an
ongoing battle. But it can be a fun and mostly pleasant one if
you continue to increase your relationship intelligence.
Here is a book on How To Train Your Mate To
Have The Marriage You Want.
Check out the links below for other
relationship intelligence you can use today.
The Train Your Mate
Get Your Ex Back In
Love With You
Self Help for
Relationship Advice Newsletter
Relationship Advice Blog
We never got taught relationship skills in school.
Spending a few minutes learning more relationship intelligence can pay
off with years of more love, deeper bonding and emotional connection.
Building a stronger marriage is not hard to do!