Intimacy
Intimacy is something we all Want. It is one of the needs of life, a feeling of close connection with another. It's one of the things that drives us to get into relationships. And yet, once we're in a relationship, intimacy comes and goes, and over time, it can be difficult to maintain.
We all have intimacy needs. Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met. You've heard the saying "Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex." This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships. Men equate intimacy with sex. One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex. When they feel the need to be close, they want sex. Women generally have a broader intimacy structure. They enjoy sexual intimacy, and they can also get their intimacy needs met non sexually. Women can feel intimate through verbal communication, as well as physical closeness.
Intimacy is not something that once attained, you have it forever. In a long term relationship, you need to keep working on it. Sex is a powerful way to experience it, but in relationships you can have sex and not feel particularly close or intimate. Communication is a great way to experience it, but it isn't in the words. It is in feeling completely accepted by and open to another. You can experience great intimacy with your mate without speaking a word or touching, and you can be touching and talking with your partner and feel none of it.
The book Train Your Mate provides some step by step support for building and maintaining intimacy in your relationship. You can click here to find out more.