relationship advice  

Relationship Advice About Forgiveness

You know this.  Problems and irritations will occur between any two mates. Our partner will be rude at times, unpleasant to us at times, thoughtless towards us at times.  This is going to happen.  We all know this.

If we can't let these irritations go, we will begin to a big problem in the relationship.  It will build up and become an ongoing issue.

We can get stuck thinking about what they did wrong to us, how they shouldn't have done it, etc. If we keep thinking about it and getting mad about it, we create even more relationship damage.

This is where forgiveness becomes an essential tool in our relationship toolkit. Forgiveness is a must for keeping relationships from growing apart. It is a must for keeping us in love instead of out of love.

But how can you forgive when what happened is so upsetting and keeps replaying in your mind? How can you let it go when it won't let you go?

One way to forgive is to practice not taking what they did so personally. This will help you to let go of it more readily.

What does this mean? It means that when they were rude or when they were unthoughtful or when they yelled at you that it is about them, not about you. They are trying, like all of us, to do the best they can. And, like all of us, they get frustrated and upset and irritable about things from time to time. And sometimes, they will vent or release that frustration all over you. You just happened to be there!

If you start to consider that it wasn't about you, even though they yelled at you, then you can begin to have room to let it go. Learning to let go is the key to forgiveness. Whatever you have to do to do that is the skill you want to practice. They were rude to you happened. But how you respond, how long you carry around your anger or hurt, is up to you. You can let go of your anger with a little practice.

The thing is, if you don't forgive, it hurts you. All those angry and hurtful thoughts you have are just poison in your own system. They are damaging the relationship. Practice letting go of bad things and forgiving and it will help you and your relationship to thrive.
 

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