Relationship Advice Help Book

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Train Your Mate - How To Have The Relationship You Want

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I remember when I first "understood" what competition was all about. It was in first grade at Little Flower Catholic Grade School in Maryland. At recess one day the nuns lined us boys up and said we were going to have a footrace. At the time I didn't really know what a footrace was and how they worked. So with curiosity and about fifteen other boys I stood at the line they had drawn and listened to them shout "Ready, Set, Go!" Seeing everyone start running, I took off after them, and finished somewhere in the middle of the pack. (Hey! Just so we all are clear here, I could have won if I would have known what we were doing!)

As I finished I thought it was kind of fun, an interesting thing to do, when I noticed something that completely grabbed my attention. A kid named George had won the race, and the nuns were congratulating him and praising him and the girls who had come over to see what was happening were paying attention to him.

By "winning" this silly footrace, George was getting a lot of great stuff like Praise, Attention, and Acknowledgment. At six years old I experienced some of my first pangs of envy! However, some other boys, who were apparently quicker on the uptake than I was, were already clamoring for a rematch.

So the nuns lined us up again and this time I was ready. I remembered that one of the important things in the whole process was the word "go." I was one boy away from George and I saw him lean forward waiting for the magic word, so I did the same. This time when they shouted go I was off like the proverbial wind, little arms and legs pumping as fast as I could toward the women in black at the finish line, toward Praise, Attention and Acknowledgment.

Now George still came in first, but I was one step behind him in second place. A nun and another playground monitor congratulated me ('Good job, John!') and some of the girls lining the edges looked my way and seemed to be talking about me! Wow, this winning stuff was great! I was important!! I counted!! To heck with the other fifteen kids that lost, losers obviously weren't as important as winners!

And so at the ripe old age of six I got imbued with the whole spirit of competition.

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