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Relationship Advice Help BookYou can read much of the book Train Your Mate - How To Have The Relationship You Want, here, to see if it is for you! Train Your Mate - How To Have The Relationship You Want continued... Men are connected to Masculine Energy in the same three basic ways as women are to feminine energy. The High Masculine. High Masculine Qualities are things like: · Protectiveness · Warmth · Charisma · Support · Driving Passion · High Energy and Focus · Resolve High Masculine qualities are some of the things we love about men. Men can be strong, powerful, forceful, clear, focused, warm and supportive. The High Masculine is wonderful and magnetic. We are drawn to it. Low Masculine qualities are things like · Controlling · Fighting · Forcing · Abusing · Selfishness · Possessive · Trying to Dominate Unfortunately, men can be dominating, controlling, possessive, selfish and uncaring. Men are awash in masculine energy, but it often gets expressed in the low range. Life and growing up are in part about learning to deal with the fire of masculine energy in a way that isn’t destructive to oneself and others. Some learn how to do this better than others. The Low Masculine has caused untold suffering in relationships and in the world in general. Global wars have been fought, millions upon millions have died because of Low Masculine qualities around trying to control, dominate and conquer for no good reason. Mid Masculine qualities are a mix of the above. Most men struggle with a mix of High Masculine and Low Masculine qualities. Growing up and living as an adult is trying to learn to deal with the fire of testosterone. Playing with fire isn’t easy. So girls grow up trying to learn to deal with feminine energy, and boys grow up trying to learn to deal with masculine energy. Wrestling, piling on, and trying to conquer are common boyhood games. However, it is fairly easy to see that such "play" does not promote intimacy. These are great protective and hunting/providing skills to have, but they are not foundational skills for relationship and bonding. Nurturing, cooperation and shared, empathic communication are great tools for developing intimacy. Attacking, dominating and defending do not lend themselves much to relationship skills. They can be and have been important survival skills, but when it comes to bonding and connecting heart to heart men are not nearly as well grounded as women are. Consider for a moment the classic boyhood game called King of the Mountain. While it is called different names in different countries it is basically all the same game. To play King of the Mountain you don't need a mountain, or even a small hill. All that's needed is a yard or a living room large enough to hold more than a few boys. Then what you do is stand up in the center and shout "I'm King of the Mountain!" This is an obvious challenge to all the other boys to either submit or to unseat the "King." So what happens next is that you get ganged up on, kicked, punched, tackled, dragged and thrown aside. All the while this is happening you are bellowing in primal defiance or screaming in delighted outrage. Once you are thrown aside, you get up and go attack the new "king." Doesn't it sound like great fun? The joys of playing a game where you get kicked, smacked, gang-tackled and thrown aside... Boys grew up learning skills to attack, defend, be strong and independent.
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